Grin and Bear It
by Moonstarer
Summary: My entry to the Geekfiction Summer Blockbuster Ficathon. My prompt was "You can't handle the truth.", the question is can you handle my attempt at comedy? Brass, Grissom and Greg investigate a beary interesting case, but will they drown in the fluff?


**A/N **My current WIP _Prisoner 4929 _has been delayed due to health problems. Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible. In the mean time here is my entry to the Geekfiction Summer Blockbuster Ficathon, the prompt for which was the line "You can't handle the truth" from the movie _A Few Good Men,_ although I have taken some liberties with it. This is my first attempt at comedy, so you'll just have to...

**Grin and Bear it**

Gil Grissom turned the official Crime Lab vehicle into the service car park of the Fashion Show Mall. It wasn't the kind of place he would have chosen to do his shopping, but that wasn't why he was here in the early hours of a Tuesday morning. As he brought the vehicle to a halt Greg Sanders stepped out from the covered loading bay, looking _very_ pleased to see him.

"I thought I'd better come down and meet you, Boss," Greg greeted his supervisor, "this place is huge, it's easy to lose your bearings, so I thought it would be quicker if I just came and brought you to the scene myself."

For many people, seeing the vast spaces of the Fashion Show Mall completely deserted would have been an eerie experience, but Grissom preferred it like this. He avoided such places as much as possible during their opening hours, he hated the atmosphere and hectic hustle and bustle of the mass consumerism in places like this and the fact that this was supposedly one of the largest malls in the country didn't endear it to him in the slightest. Vaguely he wondered just how many bag snatches, shoplifting cases and missing children occurred in this one building over the course of a year and was thankful that most never escalated enough to require more than a single police officer to deal with them.

As an unusually silent Greg led him to the far side of the second level he could see a small group of people gathered. They were nearing the crime scene. Grissom suppressed a shudder as the passed 'Borders Express', (How could anyone think it was a virtue to have a store where one could buy books _quickly?_), then went into investigation mode to gather all the information he could as he approached the crime scene.

He'd originally assigned Greg to work this case solo because the request he'd received from Dispatch had listed it as a simple smash and grab, but the presence of Jim Brass amongst the group gathered close to the brightly coloured store front was evidence that whatever was behind the partially raised security shutter was more serious than he had anticipated. In addition to Jim and two uniformed officers there were two men, one, tall and light haired, was dressed casually in tailored shorts and a polo shirt, the other, darker haired, male was dressed more formally in a blue lounge suit, although his grooming indicated that he had dressed rather more hurriedly than the other. Grissom would want to hear from both men at some point, but for now he needed to see the scene. He turned to Greg and raised his eyebrow expectantly.

"I'm really glad you're here Grissom," said Greg, standing in front of the entrance and slipping on a fresh pair of gloves as a large Teddy-bear head looked benevolently down on them, "the slip you gave me said this was a straight forward break in and I just wasn't expecting to find what I did. I walked straight into the store completely unprepared for what I saw. It was horrible, the place was covered in it, it was nearly impossible to avoid stepping in it, although I managed somehow. It's a sight you never ever want to see inside a toy store." He hesitated, his gloved hand on the grille before slowly pushing it higher to make it easier for Grissom to duck under. "It looks like there's been a massacre, there is..." Greg's heroic attempt at keeping a straight face was already starting to give way and he just managed to turn his head away from Grissom and pretend that he couldn't stand to look.

"...stuffing everywhere." Greg finally delivered his killer line, but it was a waste of time, his boss wasn't listening to a word.

It took Grissom's eyes a moment to adjust from the harsh fluorescent lighting of the Mall to the darkness of the store. At first all he could make out was a row of cash registers and a large number of what appeared to be bins, the closer ones at least had the heads of various different soft toys peering from them. Fishing out his flashlight Grissom finally observed what his junior CSI had been referring to. Spilling out of a large, as yet unidentified, machine and spreading out over most of the store's floor area there was indeed a large amount of fluffy, white, toy stuffing.

"So, Greg, what, precisely, do we have?" Grissom asked, still sweeping the area with his beam of light.

"It looks like a failed attempt at a robbery which turned to vandalism, but if theft was the only motive there are plenty of other stores with more expensive merchandise and nearer the exits for quick in and out. There has to be a motive beyond financial gain."

Grissom nodded. "I'd agree with that, but our first priority is to gather the evidence and establish who did this, the why can come later. I see Jim is outside, so I'm going to see what he has found out. Do you know what you're doing in here?"

Greg nodded, "Fingerprints mainly," he said, "or possibly paw prints." At Grissom's look he reverted to serious mode. "The power's been cut to stop the stuffing machine kicking out any more fluff, so I've been concentrating on printing that so it can be turned off at seperately and we can get the main lights back on."

"OK," confirmed Grissom, "be thorough, that machine is one of the few places we can be sure our perp touched." With that he turned and went back out of the store, noting that Greg had printed the edge of the grille and the door frame already.

"OK, Jim," Grissom said, as they stepped out of earshot of the two strangers in the group, "I don't see any DBs so why exactly did you decide to call me in? I can't imagine Greg having any problems with this case, he seems to have found his ideal environment." He paused for a moment and his eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Come to that, why are _you_ here?"

"I didn't say you _had_ to come, as I remember it, I said 'you're going to want to see this' and I did check that I was rescuing you from paperwork and that you weren't up to your knees in a case before I said anything. Just like Officer Mitchell did when he called me."

Hearing his name Officer Mitchell nodded in their direction with a polite "Doctor Grissom." and a big smile on his face.

"Oh, come on Gil," Jim said in response to Grissom's blank expression, "you have to _bear_ in mind that this is probably going to be an un_fur_gettable case. Besides," he continued, allowing his face to become serious again "you know that Homicide often covers abductions as well as suspicious deaths."

"There's been an abduction?"

"Well, an attempt at one anyway. Well, actually it's more of an attempted bear-napping," said Brass with a shrug and a slight grin, "the prospective victim's in there."

Brass led him back into the store and used his own flashlight to point out a display case at the back of the store, an area largely occupied by display units of clothes and accessories for the toys. In it, comfortably seated on a scaled down sofa sat a golden brown fluffy teddy bear with an expression on his face that Grissom would have described as somewhere between smug and slightly superior, had he been prepared to admit that a teddy-bear could have an expression of any sort. On the front of the display case was an engraved bronze coloured plaque and, after approaching and slipping on his reading glasses, Grissom saw that it bore the legend, "Gary: The World's Cutest Bear".

Greg had finished working on the stuffing machine and was now busy photographing the Plexiglass container and the bear within. After a moment he stopped and looked at the images he had taken on the digital camera's LCD display. "You know," he said, looking up at the bear and then back down at the camera screen again, "if I didn't know better I'd swear he was deliberately playing to the camera."

Coming to peer over Greg's shoulder, Brass had to agree with him, the bear certainly seemed to photograph well. "Look, if it's OK with you guys," the detective said, "I'll see about getting the lights back on and bring in the two guys from outside. The one in the suit is the store manager and the other guy is from their regional office, he's here because of the 'World's Cutest Bear' thing and also discovered what had happened and called it in. You're probably going to want to talk to them both and it might be easier to do it inside."

Grissom agreed, but stipulated that both men should remain at the front of the store unless told otherwise.

"There was a competition." the more casually dressed man, whose name was Mark Healey, said after Brass asked him to explain about Gary Bear and the events that had occurred that morning. "We held an on-line vote on our websites. If a bear from the USA had won the prize it would have been a tour of the Build-a-Bear Workshops of Europe, but, as Gary is from the United Kingdom, he won a tour of all the stores in this country. Last week he was at the Galleria in Henderson, and in a couple of days he's due to move along the Strip to appear in our branch at the Miracle Mile shops. Of course, the original plan was that the bear's owner and a companion would travel with him on his tour, but it turns out that Gary's 'Mom' isn't keen on travelling. We could have come to some kind of settlement with merchandise or store vouchers to spend in her own country, but there were already plans for a big campaign as a follow up to the competition; an online blog written by the Gary himself describing his vacation and a lot of merchandizing." He motioned toward a display stand adorned with T-shirts in adult, child and teddy-bear sizes with a picture of "The World's Cutest Bear" on the front. "We couldn't afford to not to go ahead so, in the end, we negotiated for the bear to travel alone. As it saves the company a lot of money not to have to pay for travel and accommodation for two we were happy to agree to a number of conditions stipulated by the owner."

"Which are?"

"The bear stays in the case during opening hours. You can understand how many of the kids who come through our stores have sticky fingers, that's literally more than figuratively, although we have our moments, mainly with younger kids who haven't yet learned that Mom or Dad has to pay for stuff before they can wander out of the door with it." Grissom nodded in understanding, his own inspection had shown multiple tiny finger marks on the bear's cabinet as well as what appeared to be tool marks on the lock that kept it secure.

"Also, our 'World's Cutest Bear' gets to wear a different outfit every day." Healey continued. "Sometimes we mix and match stuff he's already worn but he'll get to wear most things we produce that are suitable for a male bear and everything he has worn will be sent back home with him at the end of the trip, as well as the furniture he's posed with – we have a range of inflatable items as well as a chair to match that couch and, of course, a matching wooden dresser and beardrobe set." he added proudly. "That's why I came in at this time of day, as I'm sure you were wondering. It's actually my day off today and I wanted to spend as much time as I can 'doing Vegas' while I have the chance, but , as I'm the bear's official escort for the Nevada leg of his tour, I am responsible for changing his outfit each day, so I came in early to do that. When I got here the lights were already on inside the store and the 'Stuff Me Stations' were running full throttle. With the pedals which control them all wedged in position and no toys on the nozzles the place was filling up, so I went to the external circuit breaker and cut power to everything. Then I called 911. I called Mr. Wright while I was waiting for you guys to arrive. Although I have my own set of keys, I didn't enter the store until just now."

"You don't normally work in this store and have only been here a few days, Mr Healey. How did you know there was a power cut off outside the door?"

"We're a toy company, Doctor Grissom; safety is paramount when young children are about. A safety briefing is the first thing that happens whenever a new member of staff comes to a store, whether they are a part-time Saturday assistant or an experienced member of the company on a temporary visit and that includes knowing how to shut down all the electrical equipment should an emergency arise."

"And you couldn't have had someone else change the bear's clothes on this one occasion? Or is this another requirement of the owner's?" Brass asked.

The man looked around quickly to locate the store's manager. Satisfied that they wouldn't be overheard he answered.

"Actually, it's from head office, only I am allowed to handle the bear, especially when he is a bare bear."

"A bear bear?" Grissom was confused.

"Yes, a bare bear – as in a bear without any clothes on." Healey explained.

"Look, I hope I can trust you guys not to take this any further than is strictly necessary for your investigation?"

Jim and Grissom both nodded seriously, wondering exactly what piece of intrigue from the world of soft toy retailing was about to be revealed.

Checking round once more for eavesdroppers, Healey continued in a voice close to a whisper. "Gary isn't one of our bears."

He seemed surprised at the lack of reaction from either of the men in front of him. "Considering the vote was being run through our web sites it didn't actually occur to anyone that someone would enter a bear that didn't come from a 'Build-a-Bear Workshop'. In fact it was only when Gary arrived at our flagship store in New York and was being changed into his first new clothes that anyone noticed his label. It was far too late to disqualify him, especially as we never actually stated in the rules that he couldn't be entered. There is one saving grace, though, Gary originally came from a store called 'The Bear Factory', part of a UK chain which we bought out a few years ago, so at least no company still in existence can gain the upper hand by claiming that their creation beat us in our own competition. All the same, it would not be a good thing if Gary's origins became widely known, although we never say it, it is implicit in this campaign that if you come to one of our stores you will leave with one of the World's Cutest Bears."

As Grissom was trying to process all this and struggling to grasp the intricacies of retail politics, Greg, who had finished examining the display case, was now starting to comb his way through the layer of stuffing spread across the shop floor, called out that he'd found something. A tooth, in fact.

As Greg was slipping his find into a small, clear evidence bag, the store manager reached for it, but Grissom shot his arm out grabbing his wrist to stop him.

"What are you doing?" asked the manager.

"The tooth," said Grissom, earnestly, "you can't handle the tooth."

"I was just trying to see how large it is, you'd be surprised how many baby teeth we find in here."

"What, are they leaving them for the Tooth Furry or something?" Jim quipped, eyeing a yellow bear in a pink ballerina outfit and net wings.

"Actually, you're not far wrong," was the Manager's response, "most kids associate losing teeth with gaining cash and if they need a top up on their allowance to get something they want, or just an excuse to cry until they're bought something just to shut them up, then it's amazing what a little concentrated wobbling can achieve. Once the tooth is out and the money or gift is in their pocket the tooth loses its value and winds up on the floor for the cleaner to take care of. Working in a store like this is an amazing way to study the manipulation techniques of young children."

"Look, I know you guys have a job to do," Mr. Wright added, scanning his messy store anxiously, "but the Mall opens at nine on weekdays and we have a 'Build-a-Party' booked at eleven. Can you give me any idea when we can start clearing up? Then I can either get more people in to help or see if our nearest branch can take the party booking at short notice."

Knowing that Grissom had no patience for those who tried to hurry him in his work, even if Wright was being polite and seemed prepared to be flexible, Brass suggested that both Wright and Healey should wait outside so that the CSI's could work faster.

"You know, maybe you should get one of these bears to send to Sara." Brass suggested once it was just the three of them. He peered into several of the bins which contained various bears and other creatures all in a partially stuffed state waiting to be filled to their new owner's specifications.

"I'm sure you could find some appropriate clothes from all this lot and you can even record your own voice if you don't like the pre-recorded ones." Grissom, engrossed in his work merely grunted in response.

"That's a good idea, Jim, I'm sure Sara misses her big Grissly bear," Greg replied with a grin.

Grissom had had enough of the constant jokes, "If you two are planning on starting a new double act maybe you should take it on the road and leave me alone to do some proper work," he growled.

"You're right; he is a Grissly bear, and not a very happy one."

"Maybe he's got a sore head?" Greg finished.

Seeing the expression on Grissom's face - he really could feel a headache coming on - Greg quickly returned to his task.

"So," Grissom asked casually after a few moments peering at the cash registers through an illuminated hand lens, "did either of you two comedians get around to asking about video camera footage?"

"Yup, internal cameras for the store all record digitally. It seems that cutting the power without warning lost a couple of hours of footage, something about a power spike. You can see Healey peering in under the partially open shutter, but rewind another forty-eight minutes beyond that and everything goes blank. Your tech guys might be able to say if the explanation's believable or not, I certainly can't. As for the Mall's security footage, if you think 'Brass and Sanders' should be appearing at the nearest comedy club then you should check out the clowns on night security, particularly their supervisor's disappearing act. Next shift is due in in an hour, I'll see if I can get anything useful out of them."

Grissom nodded absentmindedly. "Greg, take a look at these cash drawers and tell me what you see." Moving out of Sanders' way Grissom went to look at Gary Bear's display case with the same tool.

"Scratches here and there. I'd need a microscope to see properly, but possibly larger and broader than the tool that marked the Plexiglass?"

"Go on."

"Erm, they seem random, if someone was trying to get into these then they certainly didn't have a clear plan of attack, it's no wonder they didn't get there."

"Exactly, yet over here the marks show a very clear pattern, someone was making a concerted effort to pick this lock. You were right, Jim, this wasn't about money, it was about the bear."

Jim nodded, trying to maintain a serious demeanour while he listened to Grissom, in spite of the bear that had just appeared over his friend's shoulder holding a paw up to its mouth in an expression of shock at the revelation.

Luckily for a certain Greg Sanders his supervisor didn't turn around at the wrong moment and catch the show. Instead Grissom headed for the entrance to the store. Carefully he examined the area around the key holes for the security grille. The only scratches he found there were the kind that had been left accidentally over time, made by the key slipping in a clumsy hand and missing its slot.

Pausing briefly Grissom stood, squinting at nothing, his head slightly tilted and his lips pursed in thought. Then, with Brass close behind him, knowing that Grissom had realised something, he advanced on Healey and Wright.

"I'd like to see your keys please? Both of you, all the ones you're carrying."

Jim nodded at the men to comply.

"What's this about?" asked Healey as both men reached into their pockets.

"Well, Mr. Wright here is anxious to get the store open on time and I thought that this would be quicker than waiting for Mall security to get its act together and review last night's video recordings.

"It's pretty clear this was an inside job. Whoever did this managed to walk through the deserted mall without raising the alarm and that's far easier to do if you're someone who could be expected to be seen around the place. Also there are no signs of an attempt to tamper with the external locks. The culprit had a key. Then there's the gap in the video record. The explanation from Mr. Wright seems implausible as the record stops but then resumes again in time to capture Mr. Healey's arrival. The safest way for someone to wedge the stuffing blowers into the on position without getting covered in fluff and incriminating themselves would be to turn off the main power from outside the store first, and then turn it back on once they'd completed their objective and left the area. This also had the useful side effect of rendering the cameras inoperable."

"But that still doesn't tell us much other than narrowing it down to Build-a-Bear employees, or explain why you want to see our keys."

Grissom accepted Healey's keys in a gloved hand. "Is this the one for the display cabinet containing the prize-winning bear?" he asked, ignoring Wright's question.

"It is." Grissom nodded and gave the set a cursory inspection before returning them to their owner. Next he took Wright's set.

"No cabinet key?"

"No, I was never given one."

"Mmm," was Grissom's only response as he inspected the keys carefully through his glass. "Greg, can you give me an evidence bag? These need to go to trace. And could you take a scraping of paint from one of the cash drawers for comparison, please?"

Greg hurried to oblige.

"Well Jim, it seems we have our man. I discounted Mr. Healey because he has a key to the bear's cupboard. It's clear from the security grille that when our perp has a key he uses it. The person who tired to get to Gary Bear didn't, and the ineffective attempt to make it look as though someone tried to get into the cash register showed that our man was too unsophisticated to have simulated the scratches left by a lock pick so accurately. Of course that only ruled out one person but, once again, the clue was the cash register scratches. Whatever was used to make them was broader and stronger than a lock pick or anything similar. I conjectured that a key might suffice, and on inspection I found traces of what appears to be paint on one of Mr Wright's keys. Of course we'll need to have the lab run an accurate comparison, but I don't think there is much doubt."

Wright held his hands up in defeat. "OK, look, you're right, it was me. I was having a hard time with the idea of 'The World's Cutest Bear' thing from the start. The Build-a-Bear Workshop is hardly the new Steiff is it? I've been a bear collector for a long time, so when I saw this job advertised I thought I'd hit the jackpot, but look at it, it's hardly high end is it?

"I stuck it out though, put up with having to sell 'personalised' bears that have never been touched by a true bear artist and then there are the other animals, dogs, rabbits, monkeys, elephants and now the latest range - stuffed dinosaurs!

"Still at least I was able to go home every night to my own collection and log in to the chat rooms of 'The Arctophile'."

"The Arco what?" Jim interrupted.

"Arc_t_ophile, Jim, it means 'bear lover' from the Greek Arctos meaning bear. The Arctic gets its name because it is the land of the Polar bears." As always, Grissom knew the answer.

"Yeah, and in this case it's an on-line magazine and meeting place for bear lovers all over the world. Of course I've never told any of the community that I work for this company, although I occasionally dropped in comments about our more ridiculous business practices using an alternate username. Then, when I saw all the secrecy surrounding Gary Bear, I got curious. I was able to get a glimpse the other day and noticed his label was _blue_, he's definitely not one of these 'individually' mass produced bears, so I wanted to find out exactly where he does come from. Then I could write an expose in 'The Arctophile' and everyone would know that the whole "World's Cutest Bear" contest was a sham - not that it was ever anything else."

Jim stepped away for a quiet word with Healey.

"I'm not entirely sure what we can charge him with. He didn't steal anything and it's not even breaking and entering because he used the keys and alarm codes. Even attempted blackmail wouldn't wash as he didn't get as far as making any threats. We don't have any way to disprove his contention that he only intended to look at the bear and put him back, so attempted theft wouldn't stick either."

"How about 'industrial espionage'? Healey asked, "He did admit to publishing details of our operating procedures on line. I know it wouldn't make it to court, but it might scare him and keep him busy while our lawyers sort out a civil suit." He looked towards Wright, "I just wish I could tell him where Gary is from. He's so pleased that 'The World's Cutest Bear' is more unique than ours, but the Bear Factory had an almost identical set up to ours, no limited edition artist's bears there either."

Jim sighed, "OK, pal, but don't let any one else hear about this, it may be a favour to you, but I'm only doing it because I have paperwork to do and I have to find something to justify three hours of salary for a homicide Captain and our most senior field CSI on top of the people who would normally have dealt with this."

Half an hour later Grissom drove out of the service area and headed back to the lab. Greg had already gone back to let the team know that breakfast was on Grissom. A selection of Auntie Anne's soft pretzels and pretzel dogs sat in a large bag on the seat beside him to prove it. It seemed that the concession opened early so that the Mall staff could grab a bite before the rush of customers began.

Grissom smiled to himself as he thought of his other purchase, currently hidden deep inside his kit. He'd send it to Sara next time she settled somewhere long enough to give him a forwarding address. The teddy bear sized Hawaiian shirt would suit Sara's friend and confidante 'Gilbeart' down to the ground.

**A/N 2 **Well, what do you think? Is it OK, or should I stick to angst in future? Please review and let me know.


End file.
